Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
