I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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