yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize