Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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