I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
did you just send me my own nude
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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