he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so let's talk penis.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
