Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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