I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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