would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
