dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
