I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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