I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
