Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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