Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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