For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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