so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
