Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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