I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
