that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
