He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
