i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
