the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
