I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
