My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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