Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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