PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
