your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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