We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
