we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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