I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize
