genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
