Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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