And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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