I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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