He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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