Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
