She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
