Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
