she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
