I got chris browned last night
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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