So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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