I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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