I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
