I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
