I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize