I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
