Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
