her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
