I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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