absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
God, I missed his penis.
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