ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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