Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
