CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
