I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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