it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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