I got chris browned last night
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
