drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
