Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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