My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
