have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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